paper handed wife

Calvin Georges was fascinated by the class war he saw playing out in front of him. The common man vs. the suits—and all on the battleground of an antiquated brick and mortar retailer.

Taking a sip of his coffee, he realized he could no longer sit on the sidelines while history was decided. He fired up his Fidelity Invest account and purchased $15,000 worth of $GME @ $136 per share. And thus ensued the most tumultuous two weeks of his life.

Ups and downs like the middle management veteran had never seen before. He went from planning out his retirement—day dreaming of $GME $1000 to whimpering like an aroused mule in the fetal position.

It took extensive counseling and several rounds of electroshock therapy, but weeks after the first $GME crash, Georges’ wife, Dana, said the 38-year-old finally stopped refreshing the stock ticker and repeating deranged FinTwit rhetoric in his sleep.

“It was a tough time for us. He is usually such a steady guy, but he… well he lost it. He lost complete control—and I had to do something.”

Dana used her husband’s biometric login while he was asleep and changed the password to his Fidelity account, which she would then use to carefully monitor the $GME price, hopeful that it would make another run so she could at least make back some of their losses.

Apparently—she was a little bit overzealous, selling the position at $92, a decision that all but sent Calvin into a catatonic state this afternoon when he saw $GME sky rocketing—only to find out that he no longer had an ounce of skin in the game.

The two haven’t made eye contact in hours and sources close to the couple say that the Georges may end up in Splits’ville.